but there's no such thing as wasting time and if there is it slips my mind the years are kind, the years are cruel and time just got away from you well then sir john feelgood is my name i'll give her nothing for the pain my kind does nothing of the sort they call me SJF for short i wanna coach a championship team was always a loser, do you know what i mean that used to be easy but now it's so goddamn hard i wanna ghostwrite a famous song watch all of the assholes in the crowd sing along as they identify with some guy credited in size six font but when i hear him talk what do you expect i wanna kiss his face i wanna break his neck i wanna show her that she's not right i'm not as weird as i think, yeah some people are shy and i am one of them but i shouldn't worry cuz that makes it worse but when she hears me talk what do you expect does she hear my words or just their effect on her friends who watch me like i am some silent excuse for a proper man who lets cigarette smoke pour from his mouth because nothing else is coming out

my life the speed trap bet you didn't think that i'd get caught that's what i thought my life the speed trap my life the inside joke i hope you all go to hell i hope you all choke my life the jacket you hate as soon as you put it on my life the black rat as soon as you see me you just wish i was gone hope she's in love with me cuz i'm in love with her god called me up and said sorry, wrong number i live in a speed trap i spend my whole life praying i won't get caught it doesn't stop me from speeding even though she's the cop

i stare at the pictures you taped to your wall the pictures of me don't look like me at all i was unhappy, now i smile when i talk i don't drink too much, i look up when i walk and see the world pass by although i trip sometimes but i don't mind we go to the opera, you wear your black dress i only hear music, you only see sets there for a moment just before it's gone i turn to see you as the curtains are drawn and then it all went black like i'd stood up too fast i try to remember which subway we took i never read signs, though i kiss by the book then what is the point of my being well read if i put into songs all the things left unsaid i'll tell you something though i think you're beautiful you are

you're better than me oh well who could that be calling at this hour i thought they were asleep to the dregs of this cup i think new york woke me up now i owe it something too it helped me fall in love with you i think i look good for once that shit cracks me up i used to be afraid of mirrors back when i still had any fears and darling my whole life is falling apart so what's the difference if you break my heart so what's the difference if you tear me apart sweet carry on carry sweet song carry on you're gonna make it i try man i always get frustrated with the sad parts when they sound forced like a rider on a fast horse good girl won't you please take me to brooklyn help me cross the street when i am not looking at the cars at the ground i got too much to figure out and darling my whole life is falling apart so what's the difference if you break my heart so what's the difference if you tear me apart and maybe i was wrong to do what i did i am not wrong, i'm inconsiderate that doesn't mean that i don't give a shit

hey you look a thousand miles away i wanna know you talking to me like i'm someone that you think you see through hey you know that it's not like that it's not like anything at all when you got to try to be sad you just give me a call take the subway for an hour i wanna fall asleep lean on you and close my eyes and nothing bothers me hey it was a perfect day some park we found in yonkers bet you think that i'm just a trick i bet you all think i bought her oh, she's a bird in my hand oh, she'll know i borrowed that but now that she's mine i think about her all the time next to the old thruway we did what's finally legal and all the things i do out of love are beyond good and evil hey someone else said that don't you think i know it you have always loved her back you think i would have shown it oh, but she makes me sing just a hand, and she is my ring but now that she's mine i'll sing about her all the time now that you're mine i can give you all my time

colorado put your lips to the horn and all your breath is transformed into praise for a place i am starting the car and if you think i won't get far i already know i'm going home to colorado i'm wherever you are when days turn cold i'm wherever you are when i am cold

beware the scorn that comes with growing horns that's what the new jersey devil said when he sat in tears at the foot of my bed i wished he'd wipe his tears from his terrible face when he told me hell is a very real place you will go there if you have been bad i told him i'm better than all of that when you get to heaven you will shake god's hand and spend the rest of all time looking down at the damned then he gnashed his teeth and he wrung his hands while he tried and failed to understand that it does not matter what you do if you do not let it bother you and that no one could possibly make the right decision by mistake for mistakes are only fine and well for those who don't believe in hell

when you're in love every day feels exactly the same oh but darling oh but won't you stay i hardly ever see her and whenever i do i feel like she wants me to go away i hate to get the feeling that i'm wasting your time when you ask me to give it a rest and you think that i'd get sick of being nickled and dimed but i'm not happy til i'm penniless found me on the floor when i forgot who i was and i needed you to figure me out you didn't say a word and neither did because you put all of the words inside of my mouth you meet the man you meet the myth we fall in love we have a tryst i was your fourth you were my fifth and you can call me sisyphus i'm pushing a rock up a hill this is my rock this is my hill i watch the rock roll down the hill i push the rock back up the hill

if you don't know what to say about me just make it up your friend would watch you choke and die before he gave a fuck you were holding out your heart for somebody else but if he turns away from you then you're just holding out their conversation is like a fire they hardly take turns but if you wanna keep it up then someone's gotta burn know i was lit just like a fifth drunken cigarette i was the ash that fell and got all over your dress i said he'll give you something that you know you won't keep thought you were listening you were just falling asleep on that beach in rockaway by the lonely lake i see nothing but your hands over your face

credit card machine 99 cent show i've got a dollar to my name and i'm gonna go out after with my friends gonna blow my last penny saved it's more money than i'll ever have again if it's not right but i guess it's fun penny shots for everyone my love is like a lighter flame and i only take drugs that are appropriately named ash tray for your fat friend she said if my day gets any worse then the world will end and i gave free beer to the bad band they called themselves the christians they had bloody hands with stigmata of red pearl paints singing penny hymns for the penny saints to the nickel god on his high school stage if you're gonna act like a jerk at least act like one your age you need love to raise you up i need love to keep me down stand on my shoulders touch the sky the weight will keep me on the ground i will sink and you will fly i will rest while you are free touching heaven with your hands and may i touch you in my dreams and in my time beneath the earth i saw faces in the dirt i was scared i did not stir and they asked me where you were for they knew i loved you best a brush with life is part of death for they knew i loved you so and for that they let me go

gonna bring her back with my ghost dance

tell me you are the one that i fought for with the tangled mess of sheets on your room floor if i were not so young i would have stayed there seeing dark walls of the room thru your dark hair self begat self maintained self unknown self defamed self unknown self attained self forgot self defamed

i tried bye bye i don't think it was ever

and if you need a friend that's why i'm here and if you want to see me at all and if you want to see me at ever if you're in love with the boy down the hall and he never says more than whatever and i'm in love with nothing at all but that doesn't stop me from trying do you remember that time in the fall that he made us believe he was dying and i don't think it was much at all my love i don't think it was ever and i was waiting for you to call i know i might be waiting for ever you've gone gone where i cannot see you now

if you're leaving now for berlin you'll be leaving me won't change anything first the days apart then the months i will slip your mind but you will be in mine and things they just won't change at all do you remember when in the woods you asked me would you and i said i would but where i am from i can see almost half a year staring back at me and things they just won't change at all but that's how i felt when she turned 19 i'm losing my shit you know what i mean and that's how i felt when i turned 20 she's losing it oh you know what i mean but what gives

sometimes too much is just enough sometimes more than you need is just what you need and in that excess of my being i thought i heard her say to me that there's no such thing as freedom if no one can set you free her room had a motto above the door fight for the power of the city not the sharpness of the sword but i don't got there not anymore instead of falling out of bed just started sleeping on the floor the filthy sheets upon the bed the mug of ash and cigarettes i woke from sleep upon the floor while daisy's ghost was at the door i hope you understand she said her head fell to the floor she looked up at me and said jack, i can't do this anymore i walk to the porch to see the snow at dawn some french actress is making love to a man upon the lawn well we don't do that not where i'm from good girls cook themselves to death while their men drown themselves in rum but i let it happen i check the mail because you've got to get a wind up if you're going to set sail but when you see it flying free and pale saying fuck advice on freedom from someone sitting in a jail

when i wake up and i always find i am the same person that i was last night asleep in the same bed alone in the same mind i don't get dressed but i get out of bed sometimes i wake up without a thought in my head sometimes i wake up and i wish that i was dead i shut my mouth i know just what it said it says i'll never be with her again my thoughts my thoughts my thoughts she's far away well fuck them all i go about my day

floating at the bottom of the sea where nothing bothers me alas for those who do not care and never even cared at all woe unto those who hear the phone and don't answer the call racing towards a red light the human race ends at a stop sign she's got a lotta nerve handing me time i am not man i am mankind and i do my best to defend all my worst moods to your best friends and it's not that they don't get it they just never pay attention and i am floating at the bottom of the sea saw you in an awful dream your face was turned away from me making eyes at everyone and yeah i had no legs to run the cross in your grandfather's house will hang over him upside down the open doors the bloody sheets the symbolism's lost on me heard there was something bad to do so i did it yeah i used to be an alright guy but you missed it i know you're sure there's something wrong with you yeah who isn't and i shouldn't be seeing things but yeah i had a grey vision

you know i can't talk or meet your friends they have a way of making me feel so small i'm standing in the corner with a drink leaning against the wall they'll chew me chew me out i can't talk when i should but when i shouldn't i can't shut my mouth you tried to catch my eye but i was busy staring at the ground if there's nothing to talk about then why did you even ask guerilla girls will trip me up they're only here to wear their masks the sun won't come out ashamed to show his face he's busy cowering behind a cloud i'll bet he only shows it when he knows nobody is around he's a jerk he runs away and i know how he feels and i know that there is nothing you can say you know he'll come around you know where he'll be at the break of day it's not my fault i'm uncultured it's not my fault i have no class guerilla girls will trip me up they're only here to wear their masks look me in the face and ask me what the hell's your problem man guerilla girls will trip me up they're only here to wear their masks

he makes me feel like someone new every time i walk outside you make me feel so new and special and he was the worst of the worst all the time i know he won't be there for me no i won't there's nothing at stake for me or for us to come over with some terrible disease all the time i'm waking up at night and i can't sleep i can't what you make of me all these things terrible to behold i was better than everything i was loved all the time i was i remember everything all my memories making me some one new everyday the street that i grew up on thought i would never leave

(rains but when it pours) i am a terrible piece of outsider art tucked out of view in your attic somewhere in the dark to stand at the gallery someday suffer the remarks of your art school friends and my literary counterparts stand with the auctioneer wearing nothing but my shoes covered in unmixed acrylic paint straight from the tube no one will bid on me they'll hand me straight back to you stain your hand when i hold it ruin everything that you do you are a diplomat new queen of the occident your throne of dead leaves the ring of white frost upon your head but god reserves halos for those who already dead his attic of glory his basement of boredom and dread when i go to heaven i think it will look like your room the sun's coming up you're asleep i'm lying next to you flowers wither outside of your window but none ever bloom they might have been perfect but now there is nothing to lose.